Shower sex has a reputation for being better in theory (steamy, sexy) than it is in practice (tepid, uncomfortable). But certified clinical sexologist and dating coach Myisha Battle says really good shower sex is totally within reach—and if it’s been a while since your last go at it, a revisit is worth your energy.
Battle’s tips include an open mindset, the right lube, and a strong sex position strategy. (We’ll get into those in a minute.) But perhaps the biggest shower sex upgrade is just the right toy. Now, the challenge of bringing sex toys into the shower is that holding one requires a logistical sacrifice: Tying up a hand when, if you’re in there with a partner, you probably need both hands free to hold onto them or brace yourself against a wall.
The solution—the powerful, rumbly, oh-so-satisfying solution—is a vibrator that holds itself in place. For penetrative sex, the best one is Chorus Pro, We-Vibe’s hands-free vibrator, which fits snugly between bodies, stimulating both the receiving partner’s G-spot and the penetrating partner’s penis. It’s the best option out there for shower sex: It pleasures both partners and leaves all hands free for wherever else they may wander.
Battle says the shower is also a great opportunity to explore other waterproof sex toys, like butt plugs—similarly hands-free—or powerful clitoral vibrators, if you don’t mind dedicating one hand to the cause.
Below, three more tips for making shower sex wayyyy better than you remember.
A Sexologist’s Tips for Shower Sex
1. Make the Shower the Main Event
Battle says the biggest opportunity of shower sex isn’t necessarily the sex itself—but the simple intimacy of spending time together naked and feeling into each other’s bodies without expectations. “Sometimes people are like, ‘Let's just shower together,’ and they're not thinking that it's going to be a sexual experience. But just being close to each other can invite that level of intimacy,” she says.
She says leaning into the sensory experience of showering can be the biggest turn-on—cleaning each other, sliding over each other, even negotiating each other’s bodies in such a small space.
EDITORS’ PICKS: SENSORY DELIGHTS
Battle highlights the sensory elements that aren’t always present in everyday sex: You probably have stuff in your shower that smells nice and feels amazing on your body—use it.
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2. Try a Silicone or Aloe Vera-Based Lube
Because water tends to wash away your body’s natural lubrication, Battle suggests a longer-lasting lube. Silicone-based lubes are perfect for this: They have staying power—even in the shower—and wash off easily with soap later. Another option we love is aloe vera-based lubes, which are equal parts slippery and soothing on skin.
3. Strategize for Standing Sex
Standing positions can be tricky, but with a little maneuvering and experimentation, you’ll find what feels good between your body and your partner’s. For couples set on penetrative sex, Battle says your best bet is usually for the receiving partner to bend forward, brace against the wall in front of them, and have the penetrating partner come in from behind them. Facing each other might require significant strength and balance—in which case a sturdy ledge can be helpful to leverage your bodies, and a nonslip mat might make you more comfortable on your feet.
Battle caveats that if you have a big height difference, you might find it logistically simpler to explore other sexual activities while you’re in the shower—mutual masturbation, hand jobs, oral sex—and move things to the bedroom after you dry off.