Photo Courtesy of Caitlin Maloney
Megan O’Neill is new to goop—and the initiation process involves a pretty fantastic learning curve. Here, her adventures in onboarding, goop-style:
After a particularly contortionist, early morning yoga class, my friend Alaina and I are ambling toward our respective offices, chatting about her recent Raya dates.
“It’s like my app is broken and it only cues up the duds,” she says.
“Ugh, really?” I empathize. “Do you have any crushes in real life, though?”
“Not even a little. So boring.”
I think for a minute if I know anyone awesome, informed, slightly metro, single, confident-yet-self-deprecating, hot… Then something occurs to me.
“Maybe this is weird, but what about a love crystal? Rose quartz is supposed to heal heartache and attract love.”
She frowns. “You seriously think that’s real?”
“You feel energy when you’re talking to people, when you walk into a room, no? I think certain crystals can really help tap into good energy—they’ve worked for me.”
Like kohl liner, the practice of crystal healing dates to the ancient Egyptians (among others), who incorporated crystals into daily life, stringing clear quartz around their necks for good luck, and carving amulets from aquamarine to repel evil.
A few weeks before, it wasn’t evil I’d needed to rid myself of, but a pervasive, droopy mood. Perhaps it was that the wind was suddenly more bitingly cold than autumnal, or that the sunlight diminished by 4:30 p.m., but I’d been feeling passionless. Then, high on a shelf at goop GIFT (our NYC pop up shop at 25 Bond Street), Glacce crystal-ensconced water bottles gleamed out at me: I needed one. There were four options, each with a different stone to tap into a certain energy. I lunged for the smoky quartz.
Just glancing at the crystal-infused water bottle as you type at your desk or downward-dog in yoga may instantly boost spirits. Though it looks mystical and fragile, the bottle goes safely in the dishwasher, and it comes with a protective casing so you can tote it around in your bag without obsessing. Most impressive, though, is the metaphysical energy shift—how else to explain what happened a few days after I started crystal-water-chugging?
I got up and out as usual, walked into my office, sat down at my laptop…and had the most epically, uncharacteristically productive day: no scrolling Insta as a “reward” between answering emails, no distractedly tossing back handfuls of popcorn every few minutes. I was engrossed—and it was magic. My fingers flitted across the keyboard, barely able to keep up with my thoughts.
“In crystal healing, there’s the actual energetic work that is happening, but there’s an equally powerful force at play, and that’s your own mind and perspective,” says Glacce cofounder Julia Schoen, who created the bottles so people could (portably) reap the benefits of crystals. “If you believe the crystal can help you, you open up so many doors and become more receptive to its power.”
With healing in mind, I booked a session at the Nolita office of holistic doctor/fertility consultant/acupuncturist Julie Von, who owns one of the few crystal healing beds in the entire world. (Picture a human-size, chandelier-like device: Instead of smoldering candles, each of its seven arms holds an energy-emitting quartz crystal designed to stimulate, balance, and cleanse the seven chakras, as you lie under it.) Stretched out on the bed with the crystals suspended over me—each quartz has a different colored light shining through it to further enhance vibrations—I closed my eyes and opened my mind to possibility. “Many patients report feeling inspired and more connected to their core self, post treatment,” said Von as she left the room. Something in me did loosen as the crystals bathed me in their ethereal glow. My breath slowed; I drifted off. That night at home, I felt the sort of boundless calm that usually permeates my limbs after a long run.
I’m still swilling from my Glacce (presently in an amethyst mood for obliterating negative energy)—and still feeling especially productive at work. As for Alaina, she took my advice, got a rose quartz Glacce bottle and got engaged a week later! Just kidding. But she does have a promising date lined up with a guy whose profile was giving us confident-yet-self-deprecating vibes.