What It Means to Find Your Twin Flame

Written by: the Editors of goop


Updated on: July 26, 2022

What It Means to Find Your Twin Flame

Contrary to popular belief, soul mates are not a forever deal, says clairvoyant and energy healer Jakki Smith-Leonardini. Like Smith-Leonardini, other intuitives we work with define these pairings as predestined and meaningful relationships intended to trigger spiritual growth. So it follows that there may be several soul mates who come into and move out of our lives, both romantic and platonic.

Twin flames are different. Some souls incarnate as two separate beings, says Smith-Leonardini: One soul split into two bodies. When these souls—these twin flames—reunite, something bigger happens. Their relationship, according to Smith-Leonardini, can shift the collective consciousness of the planet. Which is why she works on identifying the twin flames of the world. Are you one of them? Well, maybe. There are a few characteristics that twin flames share, says Smith-Leonardini, and a few things to know before you strike out to find your soul mate—or your other half.

Many Soul Mates, One Twin Flame

It’s commonly thought that you have only one soul mate, but in your life, you will likely encounter many. Whether it’s a romantic partner, a friend, or a family member, your relationships with your soul mates will be powerful and encompass body, mind, and spirit. Unlike with your twin flame, these are relationships with other souls that can span lifetimes.

Soul mate relationships can be intense and powerful. Often, you’ll feel a strong attraction that is all-consuming and heightens your senses. Because they typically have a deep acceptance and love for you, you experience great comfort in their presence—as if you you’ve known them forever. From the safety of your connection, you are inspired to grow and love yourself and others more deeply.

Despite a strong bond, soul mate relationships can shift over time. As you learn life lessons and your soul evolves, you may find the pull to be with that person less compelling. Don’t worry—that’s the natural ebb and flow of soul mate relationships.

If finding a soul mate is like finding “the one,” then discovering your twin flame is the discovery of “oneness.” A twin flame is the other half of your soul, so there is only one. You share the same consciousness. Your twin flame is frequently a romantic partner, though that is not necessarily the focus of the relationship.

Like a soul mate, there is a deep body, mind, and spirit connection, but there is also a celestial connection that keeps you tethered to each other in a way that defies gravity. Your longing to find and be with your other half is persistent, even after you’ve reunited.

When you find your twin flame, it may or may not be easy at first. If you are at different stages in your evolution of remembering your divinity, the encounter may not elicit any response or there may even be conflict. Sometimes twin flames don’t recognize each other immediately, but once they acknowledge their connection, there is a sense of safety, completeness, and unity unmatched by any other relationship, even a soul mate relationship. They feel at home and completely at ease.

In The Symposium, Plato described the intense, inexplicable connection characteristic of this kind of intense soul bond. He said, “…and when one of them meets the other half, the actual half of himself, whether he be a lover of youth or a lover of another sort, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and one will not be out of the other’s sight, as I may say, even for a moment.”

Serving a Greater Mission

When you come back to yourself in your divine form by reuniting with your twin flame, you dissolve in a wholeness where there is no separation or division. The basis of your relationship is unconditional love and acceptance. This love has transcended time and space, and with this power comes responsibility.

When twin flames reunite, it’s not just to bring their own soul back into alignment as divine love. They are also here to help others do the same. They are here for the greater good—to fulfill a mission beyond their personal development and aid the spiritual awakening of the planet.

Twin flames are true power couples. Their lives may be public—they may make change through their celebrity or by creating wide-reaching service organizations. Or they may quietly go about doing the essential work required for collective wellness, like being foster parents or taking an active role in a religious or civic organization. However they choose to work, twin flames are aligned in their mission and committed to something larger than themselves.

Often twin flames will be couples, but since they’re here to work on behalf of the evolution of the planet, a sexual relationship may be secondary or nonexistent. Sometimes they will seem to be an unlikely pair—perhaps with a large difference in age or background—but their shared passion for a larger vision is what magnetizes them and keeps them together.

Finding Your Way to Your Twin Flame

Not everyone has a twin flame—most people will live a happy and full life with their soul mates. But if you have a persistent yearning for connection with someone; a deep desire that is about more than physical attraction, security, or your own personal growth; or a soul fire burning to serve and save the planet in some way, you may have a twin flame out there.

The first step to finding your twin flame (which also happens to be the first step to finding soul mates) is to turn inward. You must be willing to do the deep spiritual work to learn to unconditionally love and accept yourself. As you recognize your divinity and embody the love you long to find, it radiates out into the world and draws love to you like a magnet. When you become the strong, loving, and nurturing presence you need to be to fulfill your mission, it is more likely you and your twin flame will find each other.

As you reclaim your own divine nature and make a sincere effort to live your life from love, you will likely start to get a sense of who your twin flame is. But you get this only from going within. If you find yourself thinking about your twin flame being everything you want in a partner, you’re probably not on the right track. Your twin flame is often someone who doesn’t “look” anything like you expected. Instead, they share your desire to make the world a better place and will mirror qualities of love, care, and commitment.

Regardless of who they are on the outside, when you meet your twin flame, if the timing is right and you are both ready, your heart will explode with love and you will experience a oneness you only dreamed possible. Your desire to be with them to do the important work you are called to do will pull you together and energetically support your mission to bring the planet toward greater truth and love.

Jakki Smith-Leonardini is a clairvoyant, an energy healer, and a soul coach. She travels the country supporting clients on their journey to heal old wounds and connect with the essential wisdom of their soul. Her chakra-based energy-healing techniques help point individuals and groups down paths of purpose, balance, and creativity. Smith-Leonardini offers individual and group healing sessions, as well as workshops along with her teaching partner Kasey Crown. She lives in Northern California with her husband and three children.