Change Your Sexual Energy—and Your Partner’s—in Minutes

Written by: Emily Morse


Published on: June 15, 2023

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Emily Morse is a sex and relationship expert, the host of Sex with Emily, and the author of Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure.

When you start to get aroused, your body turns on: More blood flows to your genitals, your nipples harden, your face flushes, and your breath quickens. That’s the feeling of sexual energy awaking in your body. A lot of this energy comes from our pelvic area. Reconnecting to it helps us tap into our core sexual desires—and guides us toward what touch, movements, and pressure feel good to us.

A Tantric Breathing Exercise

Excerpted from Smart Sex

A powerful way to connect and exchange sexual energy is through breathwork. Tantric breathwork in particular is not about having an orgasm that lasts all day. It is a way to activate sexual energy between partners, building intimacy and magnetism.

To try this, sit facing each other, ideally with one partner sitting on the other’s lap with the legs wrapped around their waist. The “base” partner is the one with the more masculine energy. They are providing the structure. The partner sitting on top is the one with the feminine energy of receiving. Try switching up who sits on the other’s lap to evoke different types of sexual energy.

Once you are in position, you can simply look into each other’s eyes and breathe. After a few minutes, your breath will sync up on its own. If you stop here, you will feel deeply connected. But to take this a step further, begin to move together, swaying your hips from side to side, finding a rhythm together. This activates your sexual energy, with the base partner giving their energy to the receptive partner on top. You will likely be shocked by the sensation of the energy moving between you and how powerful it is.

This is a great practice for any couple that is curious about exchanging sexual energy. It can also be especially helpful for partners who feel that they have lost the spark in their relationship. It only takes a few minutes and can lead to profound results.

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Excerpted from Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure by Emily Morse © 2023 by Emily Morse, used with permission by HarperCollins/Park Row Books.