Sex Toys for the Penis, Prostate, and Perineum—and How to Use Them
We (famously) spend a lot of time talking about the vulva, vagina, and clitoris. But this one’s for the people with prostates: Here, we’ll dive into ways to explore nonvulva erogenous zones you or a partner may have, from nipples and necks to penises and testicles, as well as the male sex toys and accessories for enhancing touch—wherever you find you like it.
THE PERINEUM
The perineum, the fleshy region of skin between the testicles and anus, can be sensitive to touch. (It’s also a way to stimulate the prostate, if you or a partner has one, without penetration.) You can stimulate the perineum by applying pressure or stroking sensations, starting with gentle touch and exploring what feels best. Vibrators are popular here for a reason: They’re versatile and often pretty powerful, too. Place the head of a wand vibrator, like our very own Double-Sided Wand Vibrator, against the perineum. If it’s too strong a sensation at first, try it through a layer of clothing or slip a sock over the vibrator’s head.
Depending on the position you choose, the perineum can sometimes become difficult to reach during intercourse. If you’d like to play with the area during penetration, there are wearable vibrators like We-Vibe’s Verge that fit around the penis and testicles of the penetrating partner to stimulate the perineum during sex. Position the toy downward, and that partner will experience pressure on their perineum with each thrust.
You can also turn the stimulator head upward, which would stimulate the clitoris or perineum of the nonpenetrating partner (instead of their perineum), depending on how you angle your bodies. You can control Verge’s vibration settings manually via the power buttons on the side or connect by Bluetooth in the We-Vibe app.
THE ANUS AND THE PROSTATE
Stimulating the anus externally is pretty simple: Touch as you would anywhere else, paying attention to what feels good. If you’re exploring anal penetration, however, there are two musts. First, lube is nonnegotiable. Unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating. (A water-based lube is well-suited to latex condoms and sex toys. You’ll find an oil-based lube lasts longer and requires less reapplication, but you can’t use it with latex condoms.) Use a generous amount and reapply if needed.
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Second, any toy that you put into the anus must have a flared base that remains outside the body. Anything without a flared base runs the risk of getting lost in the rectum, and—you don’t want to learn this the hard way—that could require a trip to the emergency room.
If you or a partner has a prostate, you can stimulate it by inserting a well-lubed finger, penis, plug, or dildo into the anus. You’ll find the P-spot, the place where the prostate is most sensitive, a few inches into the anus towards the belly. Feel for a walnut-size gland on the other side of the rectal tissue.
Interested in butt plugs? We’re partial to Tilt, a warming, vibrating plug from Lora DiCarlo. Tilt has two independently controlled motors: one in the plug end for stimulation of the prostate, and another on the longer, outer arm that can be used to stimulate the perineum at the same time. (People with vulvas can use Tilt vaginally, if they’d like, to stimulate the G-spot and clitoris.) The sensation of the vibrations isn’t like a typical buzzing; it’s more of a deep thrumming, radiating sensation. The vibrator is designed to lie very flat to the body when it’s inserted. And at the touch of a button, it warms to just above your body’s temperature to encourage blood flow, which can help your body relax and also encourage an erection in either a penis or a clitoris.
When anal penetration goes too deep, a wearable buffer like Ohnut may be helpful. It’s a set of squishable, stackable rings that limits the depth of penetration without sacrificing pleasure for either partner. It’s compatible with water-based lubes, like Sliquid or Personal Fav’s Whet.
THE PENIS AND TESTICLES
A penis may often be used as a blunt instrument—and many orgasms have been achieved that way—but understanding the nuances of its anatomy can help enhance pleasure. Try using a wand vibrator against the glans (the head) or the frenulum, the sensitive bit of flexible skin on the underside of the penis where the shaft meets the glans. Some people swear by using a wand on the scrotum and testicles. Look for the scrotal raphe, which looks like a seam—it’s often especially sensitive. And for the shaft, some wand vibrators have sleeve attachments that can be used for stroking motions.
On to penis rings: Generally, they slip over the penis (and sometimes loop around the testicles, too) and vibrate to enhance pleasure and maintain arousal. If you’re using one during intercourse, you can position the vibrating head to target sensitive areas, like the clitoris or perineum, on the receiving partner. A remote- or app-controlled device is nice to have—it allows you to adjust the vibration settings without having to reach for the buttons.
Because the penis is not self-lubricating, pair toys with a water-based lube to reduce friction and boost pleasure.
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EXPLORING ALLOVER TOUCH
Everyone is unique and will respond differently to various kinds of touch in each location on the body. To discover the erogenous zones of your own body or a partner’s, the name of the game is exploration. From head to toes, experiment with pressure, impact, texture, temperature, and vibration. A body part may respond differently to your fingernails than it does to your fingertips or the tails of a leather flogger. Keep an open mind—you might find you enjoy a sensation you didn’t expect, and preferences can change over time.
What’s key is that you pay attention to what feels good in your own body and take note of your partner’s verbal and nonverbal cues. When in doubt, ask questions about how a particular touch or area of the body feels. It can help to create a rating system. For example, you might rate sensations on a scale of one to five—one being not pleasurable at all and five being extremely pleasurable.
