Wellness

3 Erotic Breathing Techniques to Add to Your Sex Toolkit

Written by: Denise John, PhD

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Published on: July 11, 2024

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Photo courtesy of Jake Wangner/Stills

“A lot of times our orgasms are focused on a small area of our body,” says clinical sexologist Sayaka Adachi, LMFT. That is, our pelvic region, which can be sexually satisfying all on its own. But if you want to expand your sexual pleasure to your entire body, these three breathing techniques—to be used during solo sex or throughout partnered sex (or anytime you want to connect with your body and your partner’s)—can help.

 


1

Fire Breathing

Fire breathing gets its name from the fact that when you do it, you get hot, because of the increase in blood flow. And it expands your sexual energy with the pace of a quickly spreading fire, Adachi says. This breathing pattern is designed to be done during solo sex or with a partner.

How to Do It

Start by lying down flat on your back and focusing your attention on your pelvic area; don’t think about your breathing yet. When you feel comfortable and relaxed, squeeze your pelvic floor muscles and hold very briefly (for about one second). Then fully release your pelvic floor muscles for about the same time.

As you repeat this quick, Kegel-like pattern, your breath will naturally align with the contract-and-relax rhythm—with you inhaling as you tighten your muscles and exhaling as you relax them. This does two things, Adachi says: It increases blood flow to the pelvic floor for heightened sensation in the moment. And it strengthens the muscles for deeper and more pleasurable orgasms in the future.

You can breathe through your nose or mouth, whichever feels more comfortable—though Adachi says that mouth breathing can add sensual sounds that arouse you and your partner. As you continue with the breathing pattern and pelvic floor contractions, gradually move your focus up the body—from your pelvic floor to your abdomen and chest and eventually to your head. “Then you will start feeling that sexual energy spreading all over the body,” she says.

Repeat the fire breathing for as long as it feels good. And of course, if you get lightheaded, take a pause or try another technique.

 


2

Circulatory Breathing

This breathing technique is designed to create an energetic circle of sexual energy that connects you and your partner. Adachi says it’s best done at the beginning of foreplay while you straddle your partner—you can really feel the energy circulating in this position.

When starting out, you might want to verbalize what’s happening, but you don’t have to do this the entire time. And she suggests that you settle into the awkwardness. “It’s going to feel contrived and weird at first, but once you get the hang of it, it can be super fun.”

How to Do It

Adachi says to imagine that you have a well of sexual energy at the bottom of your pelvic floor. Breathe in and tightly contract your pelvic floor muscles for about four to eight seconds. As you breathe out and release your muscles, visualize the energy moving up through your body and squirting out the top of your head, like a fountain, toward your partner’s head.

Your partner then imagines bringing that energy in from the top of their head down to their pelvic floor, where they release the energy and pass it back to you. Continue the cycle until you feel satisfied. Adachi says that this can be done in the opposite direction, too—starting with you releasing energy from your pelvic floor instead of your head.

 


3

Synchronistic Breathing

Synchronistic breathing is a way of connecting to your partner by aligning your breathing pattern. It’s designed to be done in the spoon or saddle position, so you and your partner can feel each other’s chest and belly expand and contract together.

She says you can do this with or without sex (similar to kissing). Some of her clients even use it to connect and wind down for the night. “They spoon each other and take deep breaths together to sync up,” Adachi says. Then they calmly fall asleep together.

How to Do It

There’s no distinct breathing pattern to use for synchronistic breathing: You and your partner choose which breathwork technique you prefer. You can do fire breathing or box breathing or simply breathe deeply—just do it together.

“It’s also good to have one person leading the breath and the other trying to match it,” says Adachi. “Like dancing—coordinating the movements of the breath without needing to communicate.” She says that as you do it, you’ll feel the connection between you and your partner intensify.

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