15 Discreet Vibrators Quieter than a Library
Written by: Kelly Martin
Published on: May 26, 2022
Updated on: November 1, 2022
When a friend asked us to write a story on the quietest vibrators, we saw an opportunity for some real investigative journalism. So we gathered all the devices we sell, secured a conference room and a decibel meter, and got to work discovering which are as whisper-quiet as their packaging says they are.
We did accidentally book the glass conference room next to Gwyneth’s office, which led her to ask: 1) What are you doing? And 2) why would people care how quiet a vibrator is?
This leads us to our next point: Everyone’s vibrator preferences are different. Some of the loudest vibrators are also the most powerful. Not everyone is distracted by sound, or has a roommate, or shares a thin wall with another apartment, or cares if anyone knows they love vibrators. (We tend to fall into the last category, which is why we needed someone to prompt us to write this story.)
The following list comprises the 15 devices, of the 34 we tested, that we thought could fairly be categorized as discreet and quiet. They all fall below 44 decibels—as quiet as a typical library.
A point of pride for our science team: creating one of the most discreet vibrators to ever hit the goop shop. We love Viva la Vulva because of its unique curve, which feels great pressed against the clitoris and vulva. (It’s also the easiest-ever present for birthdays, bachelorettes, whatever.)
We’ve always loved Wink+ for its stainless-steel body, which gives it a satisfying weight and a different feel than the rest of the vibrators here. For you, it may be a bonus that it’s one of the quietest vibrators we tested.Crave Wink+ Vibrator goop, $79SHOP NOW
This rabbit vibrator was designed by someone who understood the vulva: It’s made with two motors and an extra-bendy outer arm so that the vibrator remains in contact with your clitoris as you move the device. We also found that it’s impressively quiet for something so satisfying.We-Vibe Nova 2 Vibrator goop, $149SHOP NOW
Tilt is a vibrating plug with a warming function. It has two motors—one in the plug end, the other in the longer arm that reaches toward the perineum or clitoris, depending on how you position it. And even when you turn both motors to their max, this thing’s not loud at all.Lora DiCarlo Tilt goop, $140SHOP NOW
The lipstick shape of this vibrator gives you a few different surfaces to play with. Try flattening the cylindrical body against your vulva or use the flat end or rounded edges directly on your clitoris. And it’s lipstick-size, too—tiny enough to stash in a pocket if you need to.We-Vibe Tango X goop, $79SHOP NOW
The Firefighter’s unique flared shape is made for vulva stimulation. Use the narrow tip for pinpointed clitoris action or press the whole face of the device flat onto your vulva for broader sensations. The Billionaire—a bullet-shaped vibrator from the same brand—is just as quiet and can be used for internal stimulation.Smile Makers The Firefighter Vibrator goop, $60SHOP NOW
You’ll be surprised how quiet Ballerina is—because it’s powerful. Our theory? The squishy silicone on this device is extra thick, which might absorb sound as it distributes rumbly vibrations across its body.Smile Makers The Ballerina Vibrator goop, $129SHOP NOW
Moxie is made to secure into a pair of panties—there’s a magnet attachment—and fit snugly under your clothes. And it lives up to the promise of discretion—Moxie is whisper-quiet even on its highest setting.We-Vibe Moxie goop, $129SHOP NOW
We gave this G-spot vibrator a squishy, bendy head to feel like a real-life lover. It self-heats to just above body temperature to enhance pleasure. And it passed our volume test, too.goop Wellness Ultraplush Self-Heating G-Spot Vibrator goop, $95SHOP NOW
Ina 3 has range: The lowest vibration level is soft and gentle. The highest is pretty hefty. And not one of the 10 intensities or 10 vibration patterns is louder than a hum.LELO Ina 3 goop, $179SHOP NOW
What makes Pom so good isn’t that it fits comfortably in your palm or that it’s super quiet. It’s that it’s delightfully bendy, so it hugs close to your body even with only gentle pressure.Dame Products Pom Vibrator goop, $95SHOP NOW
Touch X has a slim profile and slightly cupped shape, so it fits nicely between your hand and whatever part of your body (or your partner’s) you’re touching. It appears We-Vibe has cracked the code on quiet—this is the loudest of their vibrators we tested, and it runs at a hush.We-Vibe Touch X goop, $99SHOP NOW
Le Wand Petite feels super powerful in your hand. It’s the kind of thing you’d think you could hear from down the block. But this wand vibrator surprised us: We can’t imagine you’d hear it on the other side of a wall.Le Wand Le Wand Petite goop, $135SHOP NOW
Arc has a quiet, rumbly motor and the perfect curve for exploring your G-spot. Start by inserting the curved end into your vagina—not too deep—then press up toward the belly with consistent pressure and a stroking motion.Dame Products Arc G-Spot Vibrator goop, $115SHOP NOW
We’re always surprised by how much power Kip packs in such a small device. It’s only a few inches long, fits nicely in your hand (thanks to its three-sided design), and offers both flat surfaces and fluttery edges to play with.Dame Products Kip Vibrator goop, $95SHOP NOW