Why Relationships Work


What does it take to sustain a happy and successful relationship/marriage?


Logic dictates that long term relationships are not the natural order of things. When you bring two egos together, naturally they will clash. No wonder the divorce rate is so high.

The solution to beating the odds is to understand the deeper, spiritual aspect of relationships. As you may already know, the purpose of life is to transform into better versions of ourselves. However, often we are blind to what we need to change, or our egos get in the way. And that is what a partner is for.

Adam and Eve, the first couple, shed light on this conundrum. It’s written in the Old Testament, “the Creator says, ‘It is not good for man to be on his own. Let me create a helpmate opposing him.’”

What does the word opposing mean in this context?

It means because of our ego and our blind spots, we need someone standing there with us, supporting, challenging, and reminding us of the qualities we need to perfect. When both partners accept this purpose, and are open and trusting, chances are they will see their way towards a successful long-term relationship.

The proof that each partner accepts this understanding is their willingness to be open and trusting in the heat of battle. Open to hearing the other’s opinions and suggestions, and trusting that whether or not you agree, there is something real for you to learn.

This understanding is essential because change can happen within this framework. Bridges can be built and understandings can be reached.

There’s obviously so much more that can be written about this topic, but I know starting off with this understanding as a cornerstone for your relationship cuts to the core of what it takes to sustain your relationship over time.

– Michael Berg is co-director of the Kabbalah Centre.