Inside the World of Luxury Matchmaking Services

The field of luxury matchmaking was created for a lucky subset of daters: People looking for long-term relationships who are also willing to invest a substantial amount of money into the endeavor. “A typical client outsources many things in their lives,” says Bonnie Winston, who founded her matchmaking firm in 2010. “They outsource their workouts; they have a trainer come to them. They’re not cooking; they have a chef. They outsource their love life because they are disappointed with dating apps.”

So how do services like Winston’s work? I talked to a few top firms to find out.

Potential clients typically start with a screening call with the matchmaker, and a contract is created with a specified length of months, number of introductions, and criteria that determine the total cost. Matchmakers are available—often 24/7—for pre-date questions and post-date calls. They talk to you and your potential date about values and relationship goals before you ever meet. “We go on that first date for them,” says Erica Arrechea, who founded Cinqe matchmaking in 2011.

Pre-date research often includes vetting the bar or restaurant you’ll meet at for the exact right vibe. “We do our research…we want someone to feel comfortable in the space depending on their age and energy,” says Greta Tufvesson, co-founder of The BEVY. Client prep often includes mock dates and coaching.

After the date, matchmakers get feedback from both parties, allowing their clients to learn how they are perceived on a date and hone techniques for the future. Was it your outfit, bad manners, or talking entirely about yourself that tanked the date? A matchmaker will let you know and tell you how to fix it. “One of the keys of mindful dating is learning your dating style and any mistakes you’re making along the way,” says Nikki Lewis, The BEVY’s other cofounder. The process continues, with subsequent dates and introductions based on the contract duration—and realignment when clients’ goals aren’t being met.

While the luxury matchmaking industry is certainly not for everyone, there is an allure in bypassing the awkwardness and pitfalls of modern dating and letting someone else do the seeking for you.

BONNIE WINSTON MATCHMAKER

• Buy-in: Client fees range from $35,000 to $150,000 USD
• How it works: Winston primarily works with women, conducting a personalized search for introductions, dating coaching, a professional photo shoot, styling, hair and makeup sessions, and relationship psychotherapy. Note: There’s a waitlist.
• Self-reported match percentage rate: 93%
• Locations: United States (specializing in New York and California)
• Their best advice: “Date NATO: Not Attached to the Outcome. Have fun until you meet the one. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself,” Winston says.

CINQE MATCHMAKING

• Buy-in: Client fees range from $25,000 to $350,000 USD
• How it works: Cinqe works primarily with men, setting them up with women Cinqe recruits or who joined their free matchmaking network. Over the course of 3 to 18 months, their eight matchmakers operate like a brokerage, pulling together their various networks and giving clients unlimited dates and advice.
• Self-reported match percentage rate: “100% success if you listen to our advice,” Arrechea says.
• Locations: United States, Canada, Europe, Australia, the United Kingdom, and the Middle East
• Their best advice: “Don’t overthink two people meeting. Don’t find so many reasons why they shouldn’t meet, maybe just find a handful of reasons why they <em>should</em> and then make the introduction,” Arrechea says.

THE BEVY

• Buy-in: They only disclose their fee following an in-person consultation. Male clients pay a membership fee; female members receive a complimentary membership.
• How it works: Clients are selected primarily through referrals. After an interview about goals and priorities, they are set up on blind dates and receive personalized advice.
• Self-reported match percentage rate: 95%
• Locations: New York City, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Miami
• Their best advice: “Give someone a chance. Go on a first date. They’re not going to be perfect, but neither are you. Go on the second date. Go on a third date, be patient, and allow something to build organically,” Lewis says.

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The most salient advice the matchmakers shared—regardless of whether or not you’re working with a service—is to date intentionally and believe love is out there for you. “I believe that you can fall in love at any age.” Winston says. “You can have a great love that was maybe the one, and then you can have other loves.”