Wellness

Dan’ee Doty and Lizzy Mathis

Two Mompreneurs on the
Stuff Nobody Tells You

In partnership with our friends at Coach

The past year has tested us all in ways beyond belief. Roles shifted. Feelings of loneliness were amplified. And mothers and caregivers in particular, had to shoulder more of a burden than they bargained for.

“I’ve never felt more isolated,” says model, actress, and The Cool Mom Co. founder Lizzy Mathis. “Suddenly, you’re juggling becoming a teacher with being a parent, a wife, having a career, and you’re cooking and cleaning constantly—it’s overwhelming.”

One of Mathis’s closest mom confidantes, Dan’ee Doty, wholeheartedly agrees. “We talk about it all the time,” she says. “How easy it is for women to feel like they’re alone because of all the pressure.”

Salvation for these two women lies in having a solid mom tribe to fall back on. “It’s so important for us to see ourselves in others,” says Mathis. “Because being a mother is amazing, but it’s important to remember that you’re a woman, too. And everything that you loved before—food, fashion, me time—still needs to exist. And it’s okay for you to love that and love being a mom.”

With Mother’s Day around the corner, we caught up with the two to talk about lessons learned during lockdown, the stuff nobody tells you, and why sometimes the best mom hack is simply putting on pieces that make you feel good (oh hey, Coach) and cutting yourself some slack.

Dan’ee Doty and Lizzy Mathis

ON DOTY: COACH JACKET, Coach, $495; GOOP X MEJURI WOVEN HOOPS (worn throughout), goop, $115; GOOP X MEJURI PAVÉ DIAMOND DÔME RING (worn throughout), goop, $550. ON MATHIS: G. LABEL CARRIE CHUNKY-KNIT TOP, goop, $225; JENNIFER FISHER X GOOP HOOPS (worn throughout), goop, $220; NECKLACE, Mathis’s own.

Doty:

You balance life and motherhood while always managing to look amazing and never scream at your kids—how do you make it look so easy?

Mathis:

You were honestly the first person in my life who became a mother, and you’ve been instrumental in walking me through the process. The juggle is real. But the silver lining is we’ll never have the opportunity to be in each other’s faces 24/7, bonding with our families like that, ever again.

Doty:

It’s true. And people don’t give nurturers enough credit—the level of energy it takes is just beyond. But no matter how bad things can get, there’s always someone else out there who might be struggling more than you are.

Mathis:

Every time I get into a rut, I think about my single mother who raised me, and it lifts me up. All of these different factors you need to raise kids—love, nurturing, food on the table—she did by herself. Raising a child is a beautiful thing, but there are definitely lows you can experience when you feel overworked or tired or drained. You have to give yourself the grace to feel that and know it’s okay.

Doty:

Someone should sponsor a vacation for all of the moms, women, and nurses of the world for Mother’s Day.

Mathis:

Could you imagine? One thing I think many people realized last year was who the most important in their universe were. So this Mother’s Day, I want to make sure that all the women in my world understand how much I appreciate them.

Doty:

One hundred percent. Your tribe is what will lift you up in those low moments and say, “So what if they had cereal for dinner. Oh well. They’re happy. You’re a good mom because you got dinner on the table.”

Mathis:

There’s no handbook that can prepare you for this. And our journeys are not meant to be the same. Sometimes you have to force it by finding moments for yourself so that you can be a better partner, a better mother, and a better friend to all those around you. That’s why The Cool Mom Co. exists.

Dan’ee Doty? TKTK

ULLA JOHNSON DRESS, goop, similar styles available; COACH BAG (shown throughout), Coach, $495; COACH SCARF, Coach, $95; JOSEPH FLATS, goop, $455

Doty:

Speaking of cool moms—how would you sum up your style?

Mathis:

Laid-back. I like pieces that are functional and accessible but also chic and mom-friendly. If they get dirty, it’s not a big deal. You wipe it off and keep moving. Jeans are a staple because they make me feel good. I also love fun accessories, like a classic Coach bag.

Doty:

I just recently started wearing jeans and cute tops again. That’s my way of dressing up. And then my kids will ask, “Where are you going?” And I tell them: “The grocery store—and mind your own business!”

Mathis:

Before we were mothers, you and I were in the fashion world when we lived in New York. So anytime we can reintroduce fashion back into our lives, even in little increments, it’s fun.

Doty:

Exactly, I love pieces that allow me to just get up and go. But I do miss the fun of dressing up, too.

Mathis:

Agreed. And the same goes for our hair: We are Black women. And one of the most beautiful things is that for centuries, we’ve been able to express ourselves through braids and twists and Bantu knots. It’s become a large part of our culture and identity.

Doty:

With all of these life experiences, do you feel like it’s possible to have it all?

Mathis:

You and I are both mothers of three, and we know that perfection is not achievable. Nor should anyone strive for it. You have to take it day by day. And you prepare for it as much as you can. And you give yourself the leniency when it all blows up in your face.

SHOP THE STORY

You may also like