The Sex, Love & goop Toolkit

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The Beauty of Sexological Bodywork

Sexological bodywork sits at the intersection of erotic and therapeutic touch. It’s one approach to getting to know your body’s sexual responses in an authentic way. “We’re taught to think more about how sex looks instead of how it feels,” erotic wholeness coach Darshana Avila says. “And so we turn all of that on its head in a sexological bodywork session and focus on your felt sense. What is it like in your body?”

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Ask Gerda: What Happens to Libido as We Age?

“Libido going down as age goes up is what many women experience,” writes Gerda Endemann, goop’s senior director of science and research. “This isn’t a problem if we are happy with how we feel. But some of us don’t want to give up sexual pleasure—we want to be empowered to experience it more (and better) than ever.” DTF is a supplement that combines three herbs from traditional medical practices. If you don’t know what DTF stands for, you’re not alone. Gerda had to look it up. It’s “down to f*ck.”

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Wolverine Claws, Sensation Play, and Other Ways to Explore Kink

In Sex, Love & goop, a few of the participants explore kinks. A kink can refer to any unconventional activity, object, or dynamic that can turn you on and enhance sexual pleasure. For some of us, a kink can come as a surprise—like, Oh, didn’t know I enjoyed feather ticklers so much. And for some of us, a kink comes later in life, as our sexual interests change over time.

Whether or not you consider yourself a kinkster at the time of reading, though, you may thoroughly enjoy mixing up your sex routine. Start by playing with new sensations (maybe blindfold up). See what excites you (*lights massage candle*). And explore what feels good. It’s an avenue for nonjudgment and an open mind. And with a partner, it can be a way to build intimacy and trust and practice asking for what you want and need.

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A Step-by-Step Guide to Mirror Work

The first time intimacy coach Amina Peterson took a look at her own vulva, it was inspired by Betty Dodson’s practice of studying her own genitals in the mirror. The experience reminded Peterson of the very beginning of The Vagina Monologues. In the play, a character mentions that women might go years without looking at their own vagina. It’s hidden away “down there,” difficult to see and sometimes difficult to face. What resonated with Peterson was this resistance: We could look, but we don’t.

When she thought of it on a larger scale, she realized that not only do we not look at ourselves down there, but we often don’t look at ourselves at all. That’s when she started doing mirror work, a practice of spending time with her body in the mirror to appreciate and honor herself.

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How to Experience Different Types of Orgasm

“An energetic orgasm transcends your genitals and may be the most mind-blowing form of orgasm. What does it feel like? An ecstatic, natural high,” writes Penda N’diaye. “Unlike genital-focused orgasms that happen when your muscles tense up while aroused and then release through ejaculation, energetic orgasms swirl and build throughout your body.”

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What’s Your Erotic Blueprint?

Somatic sexologist and educator Jaiya has spent the last two decades studying what turns people on. Over time, she developed something called the Erotic Blueprint, an arousal map that reveals your specific erotic language: sensual, sexual, kinky, energetic, or shapeshifter.

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Using the Anatomy of Arousal to Become Orgasmically Proficient

Holistic sexuality teacher Sheri Winston explains common misunderstandings about female sexual arousal. A big one: that vaginal lubrication is a sign of being highly aroused. “The amount of lubrication that a woman makes can be different at different times of her cycle or different times of her life,” Winston says. “Women can be wet and not highly aroused or not wet at all and highly aroused. Either way, I’m a huge fan of extra lube.”

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Vibrators, Sex Toys, Lubes, and More for Every Desire

The vibrator that feels like oral sex. The vibrator that’s made for deep internal stimulation. The one that does both, all while allowing a partner to control it remotely via your private app invitation. If there’s a sensation your vulva dreams of, it probably just hit the market in the form of a chic, body-safe silicone massager.

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Transitioning from a Task-Oriented Mindset into the Erotic

“When people ask us, ‘How do I get out of my head during sex?’ we take it to mean that they have a difficult time transitioning out of the often unsexy and task-oriented energy of daily life into something more erotic,” write sex therapists Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman. “And yes, an important part of the transition into sex is getting into your body, but that’s only half the fun. The other half is about helping your partner get into your head and helping you get into theirs.”