Rumer Willis on Self-Love, Sexy Time, and Doing Date Night Right
Rumer Willis is the first to admit how easy it is to ruminate on loneliness in a particularly isolating time, along with all the negative self-talk that can creep in like an old toxic relationship. These are also her reasons for using this time to work on herself, reframe her thinking, and settle into her space.
“I’m a creature of comfort,” says the actress, who’s usually the person on set everyone comes to for recs (the best under-$40 face cream, slow skin care, body oil that helps you feel sexy and confident, etc.). “And I love the idea of helping women cultivate their environment in a way that ensures their space becomes one of safety.” Willis wanted to create an accessible place where she could share her favorite discoveries. And she’s also looking to build a community that brings women together in an inclusive way, discussing everything from empowerment and body acceptance to sexual health and pleasure and, ultimately, self-love—all things she’s nurturing through her latest venture: Rumer Has It.
“At the beginning of the pandemic, I was doing the whole woe-is-me thing: ‘Oh, I’m lonely; my sisters have boyfriends, and I don’t have anyone,’” says Willis, who has spent the past six months sequestered at her childhood home in Idaho. “Then I realized, you know what, this is an opportunity for me to get to know myself better, and to quiet all of the everyday noise that tends to keep us from processing the discomfort of being alone.”
And one of the best ways, in her eyes, that we can get to know ourselves better? A little at-home date night—party of one.
make time for you
“Self-care doesn’t always have to be so heavy or deep—it’s whatever makes you feel good,” Willis says. “If you want to take a bath, if you want to take a shower, if you want to put on a mask and lie in bed all day—whatever it means to take some extra time for yourself, spend that doing whatever it is you need in that moment.”
set the mood
“I’ll do a full-on private date night where I light candles, do a hair treatment, read in the bathtub for hours, and just disappear from everyone,” she says. “I love reading and don’t make enough time for it—I just finished this book called I’m Telling the Truth, but I’m Lying about a Black woman’s experience with bipolar disorder. It’s pretty great.”
show your body love
“I’ve noticed with my friends—and with myself—how easy it is to get down on yourself about putting on weight during quarantine,” she says. “Something my mom told me she used to do when she would get in the shower is she would touch each part of her body and say: ‘I love you. Thank you. You’re beautiful just as you are. Thank you for working so hard for me.’ I know it’s a little woo-woo, but it’s so important to show your body a bit of appreciation.”
“You don’t have to splurge on every face cream out there to make yourself feel good,” says Willis. “Do a face roller, do gua sha, or grab some honey, some salt, and olive oil and make yourself a scrub. I also love scent and always have a million candles and diffusers going in my room.”
“There’s so much shame around sexuality. I grew up in a naked household, and I took it for granted that when I walk into a locker room, I have no problem getting naked,” she says. “But I’ve had friends over the years who never felt comfortable or looked at their vaginas or even took the time to explore themselves. If you want to have sexy time with your body, I think that’s so important. And if you’re searching for a partner, they’re not going to know how to please you if you don’t know what you like or if there’s too much fear or shame to ask.”
SLIP INTO SOMETHING COMFORTABLE
“I have become a full-on nightgown addict. I even started sleeping with an eye mask. It’s my new favorite thing,” she says. “Treat yourself to some nice underwear: Having proper pajamas, a slip, or even a silky robe not only feels nice—it can change your whole mood.”
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