“The erotic is expected to be sacrificed in the name of these cultural narratives,” says psychotherapist Doug Braun-Harvey. “And that’s a big conflict.” As a certified sex therapist, Braun-Harvey has focused on helping men with out-of-control sexual behavior or with what feel like uncontrollable urges. He believes that we shouldn’t look at sexual behavior as a disease or an addiction. And that oftentimes, a man’s perceived dysregulated sexual behavior is an attempt to solve an issue with deeper roots. Braun-Harvey explains how erotic conflicts arise in relationships—and how to work through them. He also makes a case for reframing pornography: Let’s start by calling it sexual imagery, he says. Ultimately, his work lies in helping men express themselves sexually in a way that doesn’t feel out of control and that allows them to keep their agreements with themselves and others.