Dan Kois: How to Be a Family

When Dan Kois, author of How to Be a Family, realized his family was struggling and disconnected, he and his wife did something drastic: They packed up their things and traveled around the world—from Wellington, New Zealand, to Hays, Kansas—with their two daughters, for one year. They wanted to see how other cultures viewed family. They thought they’d learn new ways to strengthen their relationships and function as a unit. And Kois, who was planning to write about the adventure, was curious to see how they might mess up their fantasies of living on the beach in a place like Sámara, Costa Rica. When he got home, Kois had a new take on the importance of making and maintaining friendships and listening to and granting power to kids. He also had a new focus. Instead of complaining about what his hometown was not, he became much more interested in finding ways to make it the town he wants it to be.