sex love and goop toolkit

The Sex, Love & goop Toolkit

Pleasure is self-interested. It’s about you: what you want, what you need, and how to get more of it. It’s everything we’re taught is too frivolous to pursue seriously as adults. And yet when we experience genuine arousal, desire, and pleasure, those are the moments when we feel most connected and alive.

We filmed Sex, Love & goop to help anyone create more of those moments. In six episodes, five incredible experts will guide you to answer the most salient question about your sex life: What gives you pleasure? To help you explore—and connect you to what you need and want—we’ve collected some of the most beautiful and functional tools we know, along with expert advice.

If you’re curious about…

Sexological Bodywork

The Beauty of Sexological Bodywork

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The Beauty of Sexological Bodywork

Sexological bodywork sits at the intersection of erotic and therapeutic touch. It’s one approach to getting to know your body’s sexual responses in an authentic way. “We’re taught to think more about how sex looks instead of how it feels,” erotic wholeness coach Darshana Avila says. “And so we turn all of that on its head in a sexological bodywork session and focus on your felt sense. What is it like in your body?”

Libido

Woman with hands over face

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Ask Gerda: What Happens to Libido as We Age?

“Libido going down as age goes up is what many women experience,” writes Gerda Endemann, goop’s senior director of science and research. “This isn’t a problem if we are happy with how we feel. But some of us don’t want to give up sexual pleasure—we want to be empowered to experience it more (and better) than ever.” DTF is a supplement that combines three herbs from traditional medical practices. If you don’t know what DTF stands for, you’re not alone. Gerda had to look it up. It’s “down to f*ck.”

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A Supplement to Support Women’s Sexual Desire, Arousal, and Mood*

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Kink

Wolverine Claw

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Wolverine Claws, Sensation Play, and Other Ways to Explore Kink

In Sex, Love & goop, a few of the participants explore kinks. A kink can refer to any unconventional activity, object, or dynamic that can turn you on and enhance sexual pleasure. For some of us, a kink can come as a surprise—like, Oh, didn’t know I enjoyed feather ticklers so much. And for some of us, a kink comes later in life, as our sexual interests change over time.

Whether or not you consider yourself a kinkster at the time of reading, though, you may thoroughly enjoy mixing up your sex routine. Start by playing with new sensations (maybe blindfold up). See what excites you (*lights massage candle*). And explore what feels good. It’s an avenue for nonjudgment and an open mind. And with a partner, it can be a way to build intimacy and trust and practice asking for what you want and need.

Mirror Work—
and Improving Your Relationship to Your Body

Women looking in the mirror

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A Step-by-Step Guide to Mirror Work

The first time intimacy coach Amina Peterson took a look at her own vulva, it was inspired by Betty Dodson’s practice of studying her own genitals in the mirror. The experience reminded Peterson of the very beginning of The Vagina Monologues. In the play, a character mentions that women might go years without looking at their own vagina. It’s hidden away “down there,” difficult to see and sometimes difficult to face. What resonated with Peterson was this resistance: We could look, but we don’t.

When she thought of it on a larger scale, she realized that not only do we not look at ourselves down there, but we often don’t look at ourselves at all. That’s when she started doing mirror work, a practice of spending time with her body in the mirror to appreciate and honor herself.

Energetic Orgasms

Woman blindfolded

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How to Experience Different Types of Orgasm

“An energetic orgasm transcends your genitals and may be the most mind-blowing form of orgasm. What does it feel like? An ecstatic, natural high,” writes Penda N’diaye. “Unlike genital-focused orgasms that happen when your muscles tense up while aroused and then release through ejaculation, energetic orgasms swirl and build throughout your body.”

Erotic Blueprint

Woman smiling with prop

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What’s Your Erotic Blueprint?

Somatic sexologist and educator Jaiya has spent the last two decades studying what turns people on. Over time, she developed something called the Erotic Blueprint, an arousal map that reveals your specific erotic language: sensual, sexual, kinky, energetic, or shapeshifter.

Female Sexual Arousal and Anatomy

Hand on Womans body

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Using the Anatomy of Arousal to Become Orgasmically Proficient

Holistic sexuality teacher Sheri Winston explains common misunderstandings about female sexual arousal. A big one: that vaginal lubrication is a sign of being highly aroused. “The amount of lubrication that a woman makes can be different at different times of her cycle or different times of her life,” Winston says. “Women can be wet and not highly aroused or not wet at all and highly aroused. Either way, I’m a huge fan of extra lube.”

Finding the Right Vibrators for You

Flower

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Vibrators, Sex Toys, Lubes, and More for Every Desire

The vibrator that feels like oral sex. The vibrator that’s made for deep internal stimulation. The one that does both, all while allowing a partner to control it remotely via your private app invitation. If there’s a sensation your vulva dreams of, it probably just hit the market in the form of a chic, body-safe silicone massager.

How to Get Out of Your Head during Sex

Couple in the clouds

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Transitioning from a Task-Oriented Mindset into the Erotic

“When people ask us, ‘How do I get out of my head during sex?’ we take it to mean that they have a difficult time transitioning out of the often unsexy and task-oriented energy of daily life into something more erotic,” write sex therapists Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman. “And yes, an important part of the transition into sex is getting into your body, but that’s only half the fun. The other half is about helping your partner get into your head and helping you get into theirs.”

Reviving Your Lingerie Drawer

Sometimes it’s the little things that bring us joy.

Trimming and Personal Care

Wherever you think your bikini line is: You’re right. “For too long, the only bikini-grooming routine that was considered ‘normal’ for women was full hair removal,” says Laura Schubert, cofounder of Fur, a clean line of pubic hair and skin products. “If you choose to keep all your body hair or some of it as an expression of your identity, that’s great, too! Everyone across the gender spectrum should feel empowered to make up their own mind on their body hair, which is why we work so hard to normalize all grooming routines as equally valid options.”

*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.