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    goop mag #7

    This week we continue to crush out on fall fashion. We scoured NET-A-PORTER for our most wanted looks, and loved putting them together for a mini editorial.
    Who knew that one could be so quietly entertained and educated by subscribing to podcasts? Our favorites are below.
    Also, our favorite doctor, Habib Sadeghi delivers a brilliant piece on the perils of virtuality.

    Love,

    gp

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    Fall Wardrobe

    This Fall, we're mixing up style staples, so we've gone to NET-A-PORTER and found the best of. From minimal tailoring to structured and oversized, here’s what we’re into...

    Boyfriend Tailoring

    We love the boyfriend trend but rather than go top to tail with the look, we’re breaking it up with faded mid-rise jeans - the perfect length for fall - and these coveted Isabel Marant ankle boots.

    Change the silhouette and play around with these shoe options...

    Miu Miu brogues

    Gianvito Rossi pumps

    Valentino flats

    Complement the style with a hint of yellow gold.

    Maria Black earrings

    Valentino tote

    Chloé ring

    Modern Texture

    We’re clashing textures and bringing new life to much loved classic staples, and this pleated skirt in neoprene is high on our wish list. Team with casual knits and a timeless biker for day, and luxe fabrics for evening.

    Switch the leather biker for this to-die-for Acne sheerling version.

    Our evening take on this look...

    Peter Pilotto top

    Gianvito Rossi ankle boots

    Christian Louboutin clutch

    Clean Lines

    The clean, tailored lines of this dress offer great versatility. Accessories are key – we go for sharp and sleek to keep it safe (as shown here) or opt for something a little more embellished.

    Or choose one of these embellished accessories.

    Alexander McQueen belt

    J.Crew necklace

    For bare legs, these Brian Atwood sandals

    The Luxe Tee

    We’ve found the perfect tee for fall - super soft and luxuriously warm in cashmere-felt with a slightly oversized shape. We’ll be wearing ours with skinny pants in leather and denim adding a ladylike pencil skirt to the mix.

    And three ways to wear...

    Michael Kors pencil skirt

    Oscar de la Renta shorts

    Paige skinny jeans

    Photography by Damian Weilers
    Styling by Emma Waight

    LA Happenings

    Salt Air: New seafooder on Abbot Kinney. Great space. Really good food. Oysters and french fries, enough said.

    Jonathan Gold's 101 Best Restaurants list: Just saved this to my iPhone...it's fun to swipe through on mobile. Our list would look different but we love to peruse this especially since the new Zagat is not what it used to be.

    Roast: New organic take-away spot on Barrington. Delish sliders (grass-fed, hormone free beef, turkey, etc.) and tons of perfect roast veggie sides. My new lunch obsession.

    Virtual Friendship

    by Dr. Habib Sadeghi

    Several years ago, my wife and I spent our honeymoon in Fiji. As we sailed from island to island, the local community welcomed us to their nightly kava ceremony. This was a gathering of hundreds of people who socialized by consuming a drink known as kava. As the evening wore on, the huge crowd continuously broke up into smaller groups until there were only a handful of people in each circle. What started out as raucous story and joke exchange became much more intimate; it quickly became apparent that the purpose of this gathering served more than a social purpose, it was for healing and feeding the soul. I realized how intuitive the need for intimate human relationships was among the communities, how essential it is for us even today and yet, how far removed we’ve become from this primal need for personal relationships.

    The Magic Number

    Like humans, monkeys have a very advanced social life and structure. In order for primate communities to function at an optimal level, they need to be limited to between 20 and 50 members. At this size, each member knows the others quite well, personal bonds are strong and the social order flows easily. If the community exceeds 50 members, the social order starts to break down. To avoid chaos, the group naturally splits into two, with new relationships established and the order preserved.

    "Based on the size of our neocortex, sociological data shows that humans function best in groups of 150 or less."

    Because humans share over 90% of their DNA with primates, it’s no surprise that we function in very much the same way. Anthropologist Robin Dunbar of University College of London discovered that the ability to maintain stable relationships is limited by the size of the brain’s neocortex (the large outer layer of the brain). Unlike other animals, humans and primates’ neocortexes have deep grooves in them, giving us a much greater surface area for billions of additional neurons. It’s here that we have the capacity to build relationships. Based on the size of our neocortex, sociological data shows that humans function best in groups of 150 or less. In other words, it’s not possible for us to have more than 150 relevant connections with any semblance of depth, at any one time. Beyond that, relationships and order start to fall apart.

    This revelation isn’t new. The military has known about this biological necessity for many years, which is why military strategists keep fighting units limited to approximately 150 soldiers. In larger numbers, the groups suffer when hierarchies and sub-factions form within the group. At 150, formalities are unnecessary and mutual loyalty occurs naturally.

    Every Man For Himself

    Humans are social creatures, and we thrive in each other’s company. However, in the last 60 years or so, especially in Western culture, we’ve emphasized radical individualism over social bonding. We’ve attached our self-worth to things like income, career, accomplishments and consumerism. As we’ve rushed to prove our worthiness by chasing after these things, we’ve let social and familial relationships dissolve in the wake of our individualistic pursuits.

    Alone Together

    As individualism rages on and humans continue to gather together in cities of immense proportion, it’s technology and social networks that are supposed to restore the primal connections we’ve lost. We’re told that we can have the best of both worlds - we can still make our lives all about us while occasionally “checking in” with family and virtual friends, and still feel nurtured. What it’s gotten us is even more loneliness as we continue to substitute real connection with convenience. Technology, specifically social networking, has completely skewed our primal sense of what real human connection is. We’re collecting virtual “friends” online, giving no thought to what that word really means or what these people actually contribute to our lives.

    "Acquaintances are people we know of.
    Friends are people we know."

    We’re confusing friendships with acquaintances. We share a casual experience with acquaintances, at work or in high school. With friends, we share a history. Acquaintances are people we know of. Friends are people we know. There’s a big difference. I like to say a real friend is someone who’ll show up at 3:00 am when your car breaks down on the highway. How many people do you know who could pass that test? That’s how many real friends you have.

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    Conversation vs. Convenience

    The more virtual friends we have, the lonelier we get. That’s because we’ve traded real conversation for convenience. Just because we can conveniently text someone a few lines or send them an instant message doesn’t mean we’ve actually had a conversation. We’re not making a real, human connection. A conversation happens in real time. We don’t have the opportunity to self-edit because it’s spontaneous and in-the-moment. It’s energized and alive with genuine behavior, actions and reactions. It can be exciting, scary, funny and nurturing all at the same time.

    An online interaction is planned. We can parse our words, edit and choose just the right photos to present ourselves as how we’d like others to see us, not necessarily as we are. Online communication is like Photoshopping your entire personality. How many of us have online personas that don’t match who or where we are in life? Is it because it’s easier to pretend we’re the online versions of ourselves rather than make the actual changes to experience that transformation?

    "We need real, physical relationships to point out the limitations we carry that hold us back."

    We need real, physical relationships to point out the limitations we carry that hold us back. If we stay locked away in our online ivory towers, we never heal and move forward. Instead, we prefer to “update” people by keeping them at arm’s length through technology, in lieu of having an in-person interaction, to avoid our own pain.

    Plugging Into Each Other

    If we intend to have lives that are full and rich, it’s time to unplug from technology and plug back into each other. Life is a somatic experience. That’s why we have a physical body. When we have a real conversation with a real human being, we can see his smile, hear his voice, touch his hand and respond to his body language. Our body needs this kind of energetic stimulation to remain healthy. Countless research studies show that people who are in loving partnerships and have deep friendships live longer. In fact, the Institute of HeartMath found that when two people touch each other, the brain energy from the person doing the touching - his electroencephalogram (EEG) - actually reflects in the recipient’s heart energy, or electrocardiogram (ECG). This same energy also feeds our souls with what I like to call spiritual nutrition.

    "It’s the difference between living a passionate versus a passive life."

    Between humans, there is a real and scientifically measurable energy exchange when we are in each other’s company. Between humans and technology, there is none because the interaction is a passive one. The mystic poet, Rumi, understood this distinction hundreds of years before computers existed. He described passion as when a man could distinguish between the wine and its container. A truly passionate life is one where we tangibly experience its taste and texture, not just get an idea of it.

    Relationships Heal

    I tell my patients that although our relationships can cause us the most pain in life, they are also the source of our greatest reward. Personal, intimate relationships temper and test us, but they also make us stronger. They ground us energetically in a world that’s made of nothing but energy. It’s the tension put on our bones by the down-pull of gravity that helps us build stronger bones. That’s why astronauts who spend long periods of time in space often suffer osteoporosis. Social network relationships lack gravity. They aren’t grounded in any real biological force offering an energetic give-and-take that fuels our psycho-spiritual growth. Instead, we opt for a cheap substitute and end with a kind of psycho-spiritual osteoporosis. That’s why it’s called “virtual reality”, meaning almost but not exactly reality.

    In real life, almost carries no weight. Did you almost fall in love with your spouse, almost birth your children, or almost take a dream vacation? No. What we will take with us from this earth when we pass on are nothing but our experiences. That’s life! Real relationships shape and evolve us because of the grounding energy that’s intrinsic to them. All our relationships, the good and bad, make us stronger and more resilient because of this. It’s our relationships that heal us.

    "Real relationships shape and evolve us..."

    It requires courage and work; it means putting ourselves back out there and taking a real risk again. Risk and reward are directly proportional; the bigger the risk we take, the bigger the reward. Being grounded from within helps us take risks, heal and move forward. As our hearts heal, our cells respond and we experience better physical health, too! As such, it’s only through establishing relationships with depth, trust and loyalty that we live richer and healthier lives. We can only accomplish that by going out into the real world and finding it…and that’s not virtual reality. It’s an absolute certainty.

    Dr. Habib Sadeghi is founder of Be Hive of Healing Center for Integrative Medicine in Los Angeles.

    Highlights from the London Design Festival


    We LOVED the monumental Omer Arbel for Bocci light installation and the Scholten & Baijings Rococo-inspired "Dinner Party" at the V&A.

    The Curated Commute

    Here are our favorite podcasts for better, more enriching listening when you’re on the move. There are so many to choose from...our current list is a mix of classics and new finds.


    The Dinner Party Download
    This is possibly our current #1 favorite podcast. Hosted by Rico Gagliano and Brendan Francis Newman, this weekly show is designed to “give you an edge on your weekend dinner party conversation,” full of fascinating short factual segments plus an impressive interview lineup with cool musicians, authors, actors, directors, etc. There’s also a weekly segment on etiquette, answering all of life’s little manners quandaries.

    The Sounds in My Head
    Each Monday, Daniel (no last name) of Williamsburg, Brooklyn posts his weekly (mostly) indie pop discoveries mixed with cool soundbytes he finds. He’s got great taste, the show is perfectly edited, and it’s a good way to keep up on new small bands.


    99% Invisible
    Roman Mars curates snappy design/architecture segments that are far from the mainstream. He’s not after the big names, but instead he covers people, places and phenomena that make a subtle but important impact on the design zeitgeist. From the disappearing art of sign painting to public stairways in Los Angeles, each show is short but rewarding.

    The Moth
    “True stories told live” pretty much sums it up. These live, nationwide events are edited into fantastic radio shows and podcasts. Check out the list to download the ones that captivate you the most. Journalist Sebastian Junger’s poignant piece on War and his experience making the documentary Restrepo with Tim Hetherington is one of many worth tuning into.


    The New Yorker Podcasts
    Both the Fiction and the Out Loud podcasts from The New Yorker are worth signing up to. In the fiction cast, editor Deborah Treisman discusses a great short story with a writer of note who then reads the story. It’s monthly and a great way to listen to some powerful fiction. Meanwhile, Out Loud’s weekly segments feature deeper insights and conversations on a variety of the weekly print magazine’s stories.

    The Organist
    A new monthly podcast from the creators of the Believer and the San Fran based publishing company McSweeney’s, it's a mix of fiction, humor, true stories and more. It has the same brand of intellectual quirkiness that McSweeney’s is so famous for.


    Design Matters 2013 with Debbie Millman
    For the last four years, Debbie Millman has continually interviewed the design world’s most important luminaries from Grace Bonney to Dominique Browning and many, many more. Listen to this if you’re interested in design.

    BBC World Service
    A daily podcast covering the main headlines in world news, plus coverage on major scientific breakthroughs, and often, short pieces on endangered animals. The podcasts last around 30 minutes each – perfect for the morning commute into work.


    Here’s The Thing with Alec Baldwin
    Somewhat unsurprisingly, Alec Baldwin makes a great radio show host in conversation with artists, writers, comedians, directors, etc. There are a lot of SNL vets on the show, and those interviews especially are very worthwhile.

    This American Life
    This may be the most well-known and loved podcast out there featuring true stories that we can all relate to. In the capable hands of legendary host Ira Glass, each week is a highlight, but a few favorites are a two week special embed at a public school in Chicago, comedian Tig Notaro’s hilarious/heartbreaking stand up routine on cancer and the “Middle of Nowhere” on getting a complaint through to the top at the phone company.


    TED
    Another classic. The breadth of topics and revolutionary ideas covered are always inspiring and there’s something for everyone. We love hearing Anthropologist Helen Fisher’s scientific findings on love and of course, Brené Brown’s timely presentation on vulnerability is a must.

    Meet the Press
    A great listen to keep up on American and world politics. This is the audio cast of NBC’s weekly Sunday show where world leaders, politicians and political analysts discuss the week’s most crucial issues. A friend recommends you listen to this one on fast forward, as politicians tend to talk slooowwwly.


    A History of the World in 100 Objects
    This show aired on the BBC in 2010 featuring 15 minute segments on important historical objects like the Rosetta Stone and Hokusai’s The Great Wave print. Each segment provides fascinating commentary on the wider historical context by historians with spectacularly posh British accents. Great for kids to deepen their history curriculum.

    NPR Planet Money
    During the financial crisis and its aftermath, this show has been invaluable for understanding the financial climate. They have a knack for making money talk easy to digest. Tune in twice a week for a quick 20 minute segment.

    All Songs Considered
    Another excellent NPR show. Opt for the “New Music” 'casts where hosts Bob Boilen and Robin Hilton cover a variety of new tracks no matter what the genre.

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